…in which I try not to drink 2012 sodas in 2012.
First, let me address the fact that I skipped blogging yesterday. Just was too lazy. Welcome to another 2012 resolution ,where I don’t drop a worthy project just because I didn’t adhere to some too-perfectionistic rule that I made up. I’m back!
And now, to the topic at hand. I drink a lot of soda. I mainly drink Diet, but I allow myself the real stuff if I’m on a plane because it soothes my stomach. I also drink the real stuff in times of Extreme Psychological Distress, becuase it soothes my soul.
I’ve resolved to give it up this year, though, mainly because soda is a gateway drug for me. After I drink a soda, I have that sweet craving in my head, and then I proceed to eat whatever candy I can find. (Trust me, I can tell you who has candy at any given time in my Place of Employ.) So far, so good. I haven’t slipped up and had soda this year. I’ve been drinking a lot of tea – and not the sugar laden stuff like Arizona tea, either, because if I’m going to drink that, I might as well have soda. So far, unsweetened iced tea does not give me the same psychological joy that soda does, and I have still been eating candy. But, small steps. The resolution was “no soda,” not “no candy.”
I bought two 20 oz. real Cokes on New Year’s Eve, Dec. 31, 2011. I usually bought two: one for me, one for Husband. (After a day or two, I’d figure he just wasn’t going to drink it, though, and so I’d steal the second one as well. And then he’d ask if we had soda, invariably 10 minutes after I’d guzzled the sucker, and I’d feel really gluttonous.)
Back to the two real Cokes. I drank my Coke on New Year’s Eve to keep myself awake until midnight. That’s kind of when the resolution formed. But, the second Coke sat in the fridge, untouched by man or beast (or me) for a week and a half now. My friend Elizabeth and I have concocted a scheme. I’ve now forbidden Husband to drink this particular Coke, and I’ve put a note on it in sharpie – “Drink on 12/31/2012.” I found the UPC code, so that you, dear readers, will know at the end of the year that I did not open this bottle of soda. It is sealed, and ready for me in December.
I present to the court Photographic Evidence A: 
You see that the bottle is sealed and full. It has UPC code 0 490440 3. Drat, there is nothing on there to indicate the date I took the photo, but you’ll just have to believe me. On New Year’s Eve, I’ll take a picture of the sealed bottle with a copy of the newspaper, or whatever. And then I will gleefully drink it.
“But Joan,” you may ask, “what is to keep you from drinking tons of OTHER bottles of soda in the year, and just keeping this one around, and fooling us all?”
And to that I answer, well, you’ll just have to trust me. For those of you who know me in real life, and who see me updating my IM status everyone morning with “XX Days No Soda” (this is you Greely and Eliza), you’ll know if I falter. But here’s hoping I don’t.
In the meantime…gimme that deeply unsatisfying tea.
